so be ready.
coz itz gonna be f*ckin' jiwang.
*hahakzZZZ!!!!!
silence
still no answer from u...
u said u gonna tell me wad u think about it tomorrow that day...
but tomorrow never came...
haiz...
6 more days to wat would have been a special day for us...
Monday, January 28, 2008 // 8:31 PM
missing u
sometimes when u have already lose someone,then u'll realize how much u love and appreciate her...
living in misery...
still missing and loving u...
Sunday, January 27, 2008 // 5:01 PM
life...
i feel like crying rite now.really.but no tears seems to fall.today at work everyone is telling me to talk to her.wait for her to cool down.talk things out.and surely everything would be fine.thats really wat i dream of.but i seems so hard to do so.maybe bcoz u're too angry at me.too dissapointed in me.
they told me that i can work less.say have max 3 fulls a week or have weekends offs.i have to tell them by tomolo but then untill now i havent got my own answer.see how others are trying hard to patch up my broken pieces when i was going to give up.they were trying to give me more time to spend with her but 1st i must try my best to win ur heart again.
what they say is tat a person like me (a gangster in past,with tatoos,didnt care a world) would change only becoz of a girl.and they noe that i still loved u alot.so they are goin to try their best to help me in any way.
about my tatoo's.wat i can say to u that i will take it out but it will take some time.maybe alot.so i hope u'll understand and help me out and assist me in everyway.i will.but it will take sometime and alot of money.
they told me that drinking wont help me solve my problems.i'm just like running away from it.after thinking about it.i realize...
im just stupid.
i worked too much chasing everything,myself,u,our future.but i forget my basic responsibility of making u happy.that was my mistake.i should be ready to leave everything and just make u happy.maybe wat makes u say that we never really ave new things in our reltionship is becoz im too engrossed in work.too engross in saving money.but wat i should think of is to let fate decide it all.if it was meant to be then one day i have that money,that job,that happiness.and not just blindly chasing it.
i'll wait untill u open up.if it takes years.yes i will.
what im asking u is to give me another chance.i didnt wanna tok or msg u this cos i think tat this is the best way fr me to express myself.if after u read this and u decide not to give me another chance then i really failed.then u neva ever gonna take me back again.
i love u.i've been wrong forgetting u and chasing everything else.i'll do all that for u coz i cant lose u.i cant do it without u.i change.i promise.i make more time.i buy more teddys for u.i want more hard cookies from u.i wan to go beaching wit u.i want to walk wit u till the end.i just wanna see u coz that makes me happ.so i hope u give me another chance.coz i need u.Nur Shafawati im just asking 4 a chance.if u dont,then i think u never will....
Sorry about everything....
Thank you for reading this...
i really appreciate it...
take ur time and think about it....
thank u...
**mimi
Friday, January 25, 2008 // 12:18 AM
alone
its been 3 days.and still u havent given me even a simple hello.i felt like msging u but something seems to hold me back.that only GOD noes why.u were going to be my future wife.i did everything to make that a reality.i worked extra hard,not only for me,its for us...our future. maybe i was just asking for the sky.i hoped for too much.maybe this is a sign from GOD telling me that im not ready,its not time yet.u still want to enjoy ur life and have fun. maybe i was selfish.watever it is i just hope for the best.
these few days have been weird for me.sitting here wit my labby @ Starbucks (i dont even noe wat this place is called) its opposite esplanade, near the old clifford peir, the place we used to hang out,i've decided to blog.with a cup of coffee,ciggies and music in my ears im gonna express myself thru wat have happen it the last few days.
to be frank i've been drinking everynite to ease my stress and problems, trying to aswer all the question i asked u to myself.this also helps me to have a good nite uninterrupted sleep.i feel so frustrated, angry, lonely and dissapointed. but who cares about how i feel. i dont have that effect to anyone.so i just be carefree and enjoy my stressfull days thru alcohol. u would be angry but what the hell,if u dont even consider my feelings why should i.
why so sudden?without warning. U are so unpredictable. but i still dont nderstand why. why cant u be direct and not leave me hangging alone. if u dont love me just tell me. i wont get angry.if there is someone else that guy just tell me,i wont get mad coz i lost.im a MAN i can take it so tell me why.
i miss u so.without u,coz msging,talking to u,meeting u have been a dailly routine,just like eating,drinking,going to werk. take one of that out i lost without a trace...
u were going to be my future wife but i have lost half my trust and hope for u.
so please tell me if i dont love me
cos i still love u
Mss Nur Shafawati
haiz...
*mimi
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 // 6:05 PM